I'm frustrated today. At everything. I'm frustrated that my web address STILL won't work. I'm frustrated that I can't do anything on my own anymore. I'm frustrated that my toddler just dumped a bag of chips that was left on the coffee table last night all over the freakin couch. I'm frustrated that everything gives me heartburn. I'm frustrated that I don't have a washer and dryer in my house. I'm frustrated that I don't have a dishwasher in my house. I'm frustrated today.
When I was a single mom, I used to pride myself on being able to do everything on my own. And when I wasn't strong enough to do something, I would cry until I made myself mad enough that I could do it. Now? I'm infantile. My last pregnancy was ectopic and very traumatizing; I had to have emergency surgery to have one of my tubes removed because it had ruptured. My pregnancy with my toddler was also full of problems. I don't really feel like going into details right now, but my doctor strictly told me not to do any lifting whatsoever or I would go into preterm labor. It was very serious and very scary. Now that I'm pregnant again, every little thing worries me. Not only does it all worry me, but I'm sick half of the time anyway. My children like to suck the life out of me from the moment of conception. I have to take my prenatal vitamin in addition to extra iron and magnesium supplements just to prevent me from blacking out on a daily basis. I've also discovered that with this baby, I have developed carpal tunnel! I say all of this to explain my frustration: I can't lift anything. I can't open any jars or bottles or anything. I can't stand for long periods of time. I can't walk for very long or my body throws a temper tantrum and makes me want to rush to the hospital to make sure I'm not miscarrying again. I'm just tired of it all. I hate relying on other people and that's all that's left for me to do at this point. It's so frustrating.
My 2 year old decided that chips was a good thing to have for breakfast today because there was a bag of them left on the coffee table last night. Clearly, I didn't just let him eat chips (we shared the bag and a glass of soda, duh!), but he had the great idea of tipping the bag upside down over the couch. All over the couch, all over him, all over the floor. I wanted to scream. I wanted to ask what was wrong with him, was he stupid?? But I didn't. I asked why he did it and made him leave the room. I got out the vacuum cleaner and sucked all the crumbs up. He's only 2 and is going to make plenty of stupid decisions over his lifetime, but today just added to my frustration.
Why don't dishes do themselves? Why are disposable dishes so expensive? And why can't they come up with disposable pots and pans? I mean, they have pills to change the chemical makeup of your brain, but they can't come up with pots and pans that are safe enough to cook in that you can just throw away?? Cmon now. Priorities, scientists.
What frustrates you?
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